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You’ve Been Coyned !
The adventures of Bill the drummer… yes he’s done it again…
Bill’s Big Sunday… May 2001

Mr William Coyne, drummer in Murry the Hump had a busy Sunday the other day (06.05.01). Travelling on the Cardiff to Swansea train on Sunday lunchtime with his little daughter Beth and her friend Manon, he was off to see Radio 1’s One Big Sunday in Morfa fields.

After arriving in Swansea, he proceeded to walk for half an hour from the train station, right through the town centre to the bus station by the Quadrant. The first bus was full of excited pop fans, so he had to wait for the second bus to arrive. Even though it said ‘Morrison Hospital’ on the front, he got on it.

Only when the bus started moving did 8 year old Beth ponder whether the bus was actually going to the free gig, or to the advertised Hospital. Bill assured her it was going to the gig, and for once he was alright. The bus journey took them back along the exact route they’d just walked, past the train station, and to the gig. Bill was embarrassed and the kids were annoyed.

Arriving to the sound of currently popular rap/pop outfit ‘Spooks’ (Billthought it was Shaggy), they wandered though the 70,000 people to find a good spot to watch the events on stage.

Standing next to an upturned bin, Bill enjoyed Wheatus’ performance, probably because it included a cover of an eighties song that only Bill out of the 70,000 people remembered! Bill tried to get backstage to get autographs for the kids (Hear’Say, S Club 7, JJ72, Shaggy, Spooks and Wheatus all played), but security didn’t like the look of him. Poor Bill.

-anon


London Zoo – March 2001

Bill was in London Zoo on Sunday when he spies Damon Allbran out of the corner of his eye. Seeing a chance to increase his street cred Bill walks over.

“Hi I just wanted to come over and say hello” says Bill.

“Hello!” replies Damon.

“I’m the drummer from Murry the Hump” says Bill.

Blah Blah Polite musical chit chat.

Bill then spots that Damon has his child with him so Bill tells him about the children’s parties they run at the zoo, and how is his friend runs them.

To try and hit home his point Bill tells Damon about another celeb who tried to book a party last week.

“Noel Gallagher phoned up last week!” Bill cries.

“Well I’m not fucking booking that then” says Damon and walks off in a huff towards the Lions.

And there you have it, Mr. Foot and Mouth Bill, while trying to be nice manages to offend a huge star.

– as told by Ghandi

Sian’s first tour with Murry The Hump- Nov 2000

Bryony (tour manager) gave us strict instructions not to be late for the important London show on November 17th, so we set off the evening before.

Guess what?……. Maggie the Hump-mobile wouldn’t start and temperatures were around freezing. Guess what also? The AA membership had expired. We blagged RAC as best we could with Bill posing as Sian’s dad, (almost believable really).

Finally Sian’s boyfriend Will (who had AA membership) came to the rescue at 2am stoned off his trolley bless him.

Will got the AA who towed the van away. Bye bye Maggie.

Next day bright and early at 2pm we set off in Bill’s Audi saloon for the big smoke.

Guess what? …the car developed a water leak, so we hurriedly left the motorway at Slough turn off. We had only a few minutes before the engine was going to blow up as it was pissing out water badly. Unfortunately as it was Friday afternoon Slough was chock-a-block and we were stuck in traffic jams. After frantically driving over pavements, central reservations and the like we dumped the car in a factory in the executives car park with a scrawled note on the windscreen.

Enter one Pakistani taxi driver who offers to take us to Highbury but wants £60.00 up front. “You’re having a laugh” says Bill whereupon the taxi driver leaves. Facing angry stares from the rest of the band for having lost our hope of making the gig on time Bill runs down the road and catches up with the taxi driver waving £60.

We made the gig in London with out further incident, except for Matt stealing some poor unsuspecting woman’s drink of Fanta in the McDonalds. He thought that she had left it and had gone, when in fact she had gone to the ladies room and came out to see a lanky geek guzzling the drinks she’d left on the table. Neither she nor her 8 yr old daughter were terribly amused.

The gig was not our best it has to be admitted but we were genuinely a bit stressed having spent nearly 24 hours trying to get to London and then missing our sound check.

So, back to Wales via a train except for Bill who returned to the factory in Slough and nursed the Audi back to Cardiff.

After picking the van (Maggie) up from the menders some days later we drove it to Bristol for our gig there. At last Bill got to use his new drum kit (Sonor -Birch if anyone’s remotely interested). Good gig! We loaded the van at midnight and piled in.

Guess what? Maggie wouldn’t start, even through (or perhaps despite) the efforts of 12 drunken band members and punters trying to bump start it in the back streets. At one point in the confusion a few people were at both ends of the vehicle and not realising what the other team was doing were both pushing simultaneously. Poor Bryony was doing her best.

So, we faced a long wait in the freezing van and shared our last fags beer etc. Matthew lost the plot at some point in the next few hours and did a streak in the freezing fog around the venue of the Fleece and Firkin.

Eventually at about 4am the tow truck arrived. “Hooray hooray!” we cheered and jumped in excited at the prospect of warmth and cassette player etc. We sat in happy numbness listening to best of U2 at full vol in the crew cab of the ever so shiny tow truck. It was nice to be so high up and comfortable. After about 20 mins the driver had winched Maggie on to the back and off we set for Cardiff.

Guess what?….. the tow truck drove a max of 150 meters and broke down by a set of traffic lights.

We just needed Victor Meldrew to say his famous line “I don’t……”

The driver failed to start the tow truck and after sending another two vans out we were eventually transported by van to Cardiff by a driver who obviously wanted his breakfast in Cardiff badly, as he was doing about 120 mph all the way back despite freezing fog on the M4.

Got back to central Cardiff at 10 am and went to bed.